WELL SIR, YOU'RE ACTUALLY FULL OF SHIT, YOU LYIN' BASTARD

I wanted to see my thoughtful and reasoned response to the ShiekSucker's Wall Street Journal eiditorial (not a typo) published in the paper, or at least on the net version. But after short and careful deliberation, eye decidered that the Journal's polite request:
“If I am outside the U.S., by submitting this response, I consent to the transfer of my name, e-mail address, city and country to the U.S. for the purpose of processing or posting my response.”
to be beyond the call of duty in a time of total surveillance. Thus, Sir, i'm forced to respond here in greater downtown Blogistan, the last remaining remnant of the America i was taught in grade school, where the beacon of freedom and liberty based upon the rule of law shone around the globe.

So Sir, you can't have my email address any more than you already do. But i did notice the eiditorial was published at 12:01 AM, which means you're obviously working harder than usual. Or else you can't sleep anymore, as the reality of the horror you perpetrated in our names is privately sinking into the morass of darkness you call your brain. Either way, i'm impressed. Too bad they don't have brush around the West Wing.

After six years of pResidential drivel (nearly ¾ of your term , to use your brilliant time passage calculation), you should realize that such transparent CaCa as your staff had published in the WaPo doesn't really pass the “smell test” anymore. In the interests of bipartisan clarity, i'd like to respond directly to some of your staff's most brilliantly crafted propaganda, thinking that sunlight is generally good for illuminating what eye like to call “thinking within the septic tank.”

“I believe when america is willing to use her influence abroad, the american people are safer and the world is more secure.” If you once choked on a pretzel, how did you survive having to swallow the piece of your silvery tongue you bit off when your staff handed you that one? Did you see, Sir, that Keith Olberman, a highly trained professional broadcast journalist, can barely contain his anger at the shit you spew.? Sir! Attention please!

Did you not see the global polls which put you ahead of Bin Laden and the nuke of Pyongyang (say it outloud, just rolls off the tongue if you don't bite it) as the most dangerous man on the planet? Since when are unprovoked preemptive shock and wars considered “influence?” Or is it influence to render people to black hole airports that do not exist in countries whose respect for the laws of democracy more mirror caveman times? (All respect to my friends at Pixar and ILM, i didn't mean to put rendering into that light... but these are tough times.) Didn't you often say "We don't torture." Then what was it that scared the shit out of the civilized peoples of the world, the sound of the gloves coming off?

Sorry, Keith, i can't keep calling him Sir. How about, Sack of Shit Sir, or if we can't directly call him a liar, can we call him Fabricationman, Sir? (in honor of the Spiderman and the superheroes of Marvel comics who called Bush's bluff today).

Influence? The unilateral sacking of the United Nations? The backing of the might of Poland and Costa Rica in the coalition of the killing? Or by influence did you mean, Sir Sack, that you alone are the Al Qaida recruitement poster boy, arguably the one greatest success your term as despot can highlight. Or don't you read your intelligence agency's reports if they come in after bed time?

“I believe wealth does not come from government.” Ahhh, 'scuse me, Sir Sack, but when was the last time you had lunch with a Halliburton stockholder, or any owner in the of the many companies ripping off the Treasury to build Iraqi power stations or schools or sewage facilities, not to mention replenishing the ammunition with which you brought purple-fingered democracy to the people being choked purple.

Have you forgotten that it was a local government which paid for your baseball stadium? Or were you referring to the billions in uncollected or cheated oil and gas royalties you've parceled out?

“I believe government that is closest to the people is the most accountable.” Wow, now i understand why you wanted to see my emails and monitor my phones. I get it, Sir Sack. But you really, as the guy who gutted more than two hundred years of checked and balanced democracy, you really don't get the chance to use the word accountability if you don't want people to revert to stoning you.

“When our nation was attacked, Republicans and Democrats (who you yourself and all your staff coerced with the most egregious and professional of lies and deceit) came together and passed the Patriot Act (which single-handedly caused Tom Paine to puke in his grave, and he's dead), and reform our intelligence agencies” to report the truth as we had wished them to see and report it. Wow, Sir Sack, black is white, war is peace.

“Yet we must always remember that when a people are hurting, they need a caring person, not a government bureaucracy.” I very much respect you when you put your talents in your mouth, Sir Sack, for Eye too, deep down, believe Brownie, who did a great job, was a caring person, at least for racehorses, and FEMA sure showed us not to trust a federal shitshack, strike that, bureaucracy, if people are hurting. And yes, Sir Sack, they still are.

When you start talking about Iraq, that “we will help provide the breathing space for this young government to meet its respnsibilities,” Sir Sack, i wonder why you don't seem to care about the “breathing space” of our young soldiers who have their lungs outxploded. Dying for an Iraq you created out of simple shock and awe. It's not the Iraqi's responsibility, Sir Sack, it's yours.

In fact you make me so sick eye can't go on. Your every sentence is a lie, carefully crafted to hide the black void which is your soul. You say “Our Founders believed in the wisdom of the american people to choose their leaders,” so why did you send Jim Baker to take Florida hostage to your pet court? (And why didn't you listen to him when he told you you were full of shit?)

Perhaps, i'll get to comment on your “discussion” of the economy, where the hubris of your lies crosses into the ridiculousness of 1970's Saturday Night Live parody. If you hadn't already destroyed america's financial base, it would be ridiculous. Watchin' what the Chinese and Japanese have been up to moving slowly to the Euro since last February? Notice that last month Dubai decided to move 8% of its US assets to Euros?

So you should probably consider this, Sir Sack. The return of Congress to the people is only the first step, and if i were you, i'd not be thinking about bipartisanship right now, i'd be thinking about safe house countries like Paraguay and war crimes protection programs where the extradition treaty doesn't cover “political charges.”

Bonin' up on your Spanish, Sir Sack? Ready to be questioned by Jack Murtha, John Conyers, or Henry Waxman? Do you or the staff you rode in one truly believe you could pull these lies over the eyes of an awakening and fired up American people?